Top 20 Reasons for Divorce that Couples Overlook

Divorce doesn’t happen by accident. It builds up slowly when people overlook the things that matter most. Read the top reasons for divorce here. By Elizabeth Arthur

Divorce isn’t a bubble that’s ready to burst.

Most people assume that a divorce is a shocker, something that comes right out of the blue when it is least expected.

Perhaps, to family and friends, that may be the case.

But to the couple involved, it’s something they would have seen all along.

Most of us make the grave error of taking the things that matter most for granted.

And a marriage that’s taken for granted has a good chance of ending in divorce.

Reasons for divorce and why couples never notice it

Divorce almost never happens all of a sudden.

Problems constantly build up over time, and at some point the inevitable happens. Or one more accusation or error pushes the ball downhill and then, everything else comes crashing through the foundation of the marriage.

Listen to me when I say this, your marriage has a great chance of a happy ending. But it’s all in the hands of the couple that are married together.

For a long time, I’ve been startled by the divorce crisis in the United States. Many of my own friends have now given up on ever marrying because the statistics in our country seem to make the whole marriage thing sound so scary and worthless.

But things don’t have to go the scary way. Yes, it’s not easy. But nothing ever is easy, is it? It’s your passion and interest in something that makes it easy.

At times, divorce may be inevitable. But work towards a better marriage, see the signs when things get bad and put in the effort to bring the relationship back into the happy place. It’ll make all the difference.

Top reasons for divorce in new marriages

Are you in a marriage that’s less than three years old? Well, then you’re probably going to experience any of these little signs that may not seem like such a big deal to begin with.

You may still be infatuated by each other or may be too deep in mad love to see any signs of a bad marriage. But if you care to take a peep and find one of these signs, take a good look and work on it before it’s too late.

#1 You think you’re too good. Have you ever felt like you’re too good for your partner? Or do you think you deserve someone better than your spouse? It may seem like a petty and funny thought now, but dissatisfaction over time will trick you into making mistakes you may end up regretting. Your spouse may have a lot of great qualities too, only if you can get your head out of the clouds and take a good look at them.

#2 You feel constrained. Ever felt like the marriage is holding you back from achieving your true potential, be it a career option or racking up notches on the bedpost? If you feel like you’re too good to be tied down, big chances are, you’ll look for every opportunity to break out of the cage when no one’s looking.

#3 Lack of communication. Communication isn’t just about talking to each other. Communication is about understanding each other clearly and learning more about each other. Most couples talk, but don’t communicate. A relationship without good communication is a bomb waiting to explode.

#4 Expectations from each other. For many, marriage is the next step in the great way of life. But that’s not the case for everyone. When two lovers get married, they have expectations from each other and the relationship. And at times, the expectations aren’t mutual and end up distancing two people who haven’t communicated each other’s wants and expectations at the time of marriage.

#5 Difference in cultural backgrounds. At the beginning, the stark differences in families and friends, and different religious beliefs may seem cute and worth a petty fight. But all it takes is a few months of suppressed ideas and opposing thoughts to wreak havoc in a marriage.

#6 Your spouse doesn’t understand your needs or wants. This is far more common than most people assume. As we evolve as individuals, we have our own needs and wants from life. Have you ever felt like your partner doesn’t understand your passion or interests in life?

#7 A sudden change in lifestyle. A marriage isn’t just a ring around the finger. It’s a whole new life and a new lifestyle. If you haven’t moved in with each other, you may never understand the real issues of living together. If you love your space and privacy and hate having someone breathing down your neck all the time, perhaps moving in together first would be a better way to test the waters.

#8 Trust. Do you really trust your spouse? Do you find their behavior suspicious, especially when they’re talking to a friend over the phone? Trust is an important pillar in marriage. If you can’t trust your spouse, you definitely can’t survive the marriage.

#9 Jealousy and insecurity. Insecurity is a little worm that crawls into your heart and grows over time. It may be your spouse’s fault, or they may have nothing to do with it. Jealousy can be cute at first, but not if it leads to big fights or confusions.

#10 Incompatible personalities. At times, both of you may be two perfect individuals who are just completely imperfect for each other. Both of you may share nothing in common and over time, you may find that both of you are better off getting divorced and dating or marrying other people.

Top reasons for divorce in seasoned marriages

Many people assume that long marriages are indestructible. After all, they’ve weathered the winds of change and have survived the storm. But in most cases, they’ve just learnt to live with the differences.

#1 Infidelity. The idea of infidelity almost always crops up in a marriage at some point or the other. You could find someone else extremely interesting or you may find yourself constantly trying to cheat, either for the excitement or in the hope of satisfying your urges. What matters here is figuring out whether the juice is worth the squeeze.

#2 Money. Money always has a way of making life better or making life worse. There are only two extremes and no middle ground with money. Are you dissatisfied with your spouse’s earnings or monetary investment towards the marriage in any manner? This may start off as a nagging thought to begin with, but unless you discuss this with your spouse, you could be heading down the road of divorce over time.

#3 Abusive or controlling relationships. If you’ve ever felt like your partner is trying to control you or abuse you in some manner, it’s best to have a conversation about it. At times, your spouse may not even realize that they’re trying to manipulate you or control you.

#4 Priorities change. A marriage is a lifetime of togetherness. And as individuals, our priorities in life too change all the time. If you want to have a successful marriage and avoid any reason for divorce, learn to understand each other’s priorities. Don’t expect your partner to stay the same forever. Talk to each other and help each other become better individuals, and you’ll learn to fall more in love with each other.

#5 Emotional affairs. Emotional affairs are the easiest to fall into. And at most times, you may not even realize it. Do you feel really comfortable with a coworker at your workplace, perhaps of the opposite sex? And do you feel like this person really understands you and gives you the perfect advice for all your doubts? Or do you feel really happy and refreshed every time you have a long conversation with this friend of the opposite sex?

If you ever feel like you emotionally connect better with someone other than your spouse, chances are, you’re already in an emotional affair. Just how bad or troublesome it is, that’s something you need to think about. But don’t worry, emotional affairs are far more common than you think.

#6 Difference in sexual interests. As relationships grow, the sexual excitement and the arousal too start to change. You see the same naked person every night. Is it really possible to get wet or hard in an instant, every time you see your naked spouse lying in bed?

One of you may enjoy sex while the other just doesn’t enjoy sex anymore. Or perhaps, things have just started to get really boring. Sex plays a pretty important part in a successful marriage. Work on it and get better at it.

#7 Your spouse doesn’t excite you. This can happen to spouses who are not fascinated or awed by their partners.  It isn’t just about sexual interest. You may like your spouse as a friend, but there’s no passion or happiness when you’re with each other. Both of you just live together, lead two separate lives and have your good friends. And after some time, you may wonder why you’re even together anymore.

#8 There’s more to life than this. You’re scared your life will be too meaningless with your spouse. You’ve been together for several years, and yet have no memories or special thoughts that excite you. If you feel like you need to go out there and see the world in all its hues, then perhaps a trial separation or a break may be the best way forward.

#9 Friends who are bad for the marriage. Some friends are just the worst thing that can happen to a marriage. They probably lead sad, lonely lives themselves or just can’t get along with your spouse. And they do everything possible to convince you that you can get a better catch, if only you tried.

#10 Addictions. Addictions are little things that come between two partners in a big way. Do you have any addictions that bother your spouse, be it sexual or something alcoholic? Addictions may not affect relationships directly. But your dependence on the addiction and the way it affects your life may affect your marriage. Overcome addictions, or try to get your partner to support you and understand you better while you try to overcome it.

A divorce is a painful scar, and can be avoided with a bit of foresight. Keep an eye on these 20 top reasons for divorce and if you ever see a little weed of doubt sprouting in your marriage, do something about it.

We’re trying hard to create better relationships in the world.
But we can’t do it without YOU! 

Did this feature help you better yourself or your relationship?
You can change someone else’s life too!

How to Move On and Deal with a Break Up with a Smile

Break ups suck! But you really have no choice, do you? Use these 10 steps on how to move on and deal with a break up, and make yourself stronger too. By Ethan Kent

If there’s one thing that sucks about love, it’s the uncertainty of it.

You could fall in love with someone, be happy for years and then, just like that, the whole relationship could come crashing down.

If you’re the one who doesn’t feel like the relationship is working out, that’s great for you because big chances are, you’ll get over your ex pretty soon after the break up.

But what if you’re the sad and miserable one, the one that’s left crawling on the floor, shattered inside and trying to pick up the pieces of your broken heart?

Well, if you’re that lover, then love can be a real bitch for you.

No matter what you do or how hard you try, there’s a constant hammering in your head and a hollow pit in your heart that nothing can fill.

How to deal with a break up when you’re a mess

Nobody likes a bad break up because it’s just pitiful.

A relationship where both lovers just drift apart or end up simultaneously meeting new lovers seems so much better than the traditional breakup.

But almost all the time, if your lover leaves you, they may already have someone else in mind. After all, when we’re as selfish as the human beings that we are, we like having a backup plan with everything we do in life.

As humans, we need a purpose for everything, and for breaking up too, we need to believe that there’s something better out there for us.

But leaving human psychology aside, the fact of the matter still rests. You’ve broken up. You’re hurting. You need to move on.

It hurts, but you really, really have no choice at all. But you knew that already, didn’t you?

How to move on after a breakup

Acceptance is the biggest hurdle after a break up. Most of us constantly pine for a second chance or constantly hope that our ex will want us back. But as long as you keep that flicker of hope alive and think of your ex often, you will always writhe in misery and pain. And you’ll never be able to move on.

To truly understand how to move on after a break up, you need to have the strength to accept that the relationship is over.

And if your ex does ever come crawling back to you a few months down the lane, you need to convince yourself that you will not get back with them. If you live your life in the constant hope that your ex may someday realize how much they love you and need you, you’re only going to feel worse with each passing day, especially if your ex starts to date someone else.

How to deal with a break up and smile!

Your will power and your determination is the only thing that matters when it comes to moving on after a break up. Nothing else will help you, not your friends and not a string of flings. Hold your ground, convince yourself that you’re ready to move on and get away from the pain. And use these steps to move on and deal with a break up.

#1 Don’t write letters. There’s always a constant itch to get in touch with an ex. When you feel down, when you listen to a romantic song, or even when you’re drunk. But hold that thought. Never try to get in touch with an ex unless you’re just bumping into them accidentally. It’ll weaken your resolve to get over your ex.

If you find yourself writing a long email to your ex, write it if you must but don’t send it. Hold on to that draft copy overnight. When you wake up in the morning, you’d realize that it was just a weak moment and you don’t really want to send the email anymore. By waiting a while, you’d be able to feel stronger about your own resolve. The same rule can be applied to phone calls and texts too.

If an uncontrollable urge to call or text your ex overwhelms you, don’t stop yourself. Instead, just convince yourself that you’ll call the next morning if you still feel like it. Each time you put away a phone call or an email, you’d feel more confident about getting over your ex and moving on.

#2 Deal with the addiction. Exes are an addiction, just like any other serious life threatening addiction in the world. And the worst part here, is that you can’t really cut down a little bit at a time. You have no choice but to go cold turkey and avoid all contact. It will hurt and you will feel terrible, but you’ll feel better a week later, and even better another week later.

Treat your ex like a bad addiction, and learn to deal with the break up. It’ll help you when you start to see your ex as something that’s bad for your life.

#3 The evil selfish ex. Let’s face it, if your boyfriend or girlfriend dumps you, they’re evil *at least in your head*. If your ex gets rude or yells at you when you try to talk to them, or if they ignore you, or if they look at you with spite and disgust each time you walk up to them, you have every right to believe that they’re evil, selfish little devils. But you know what, you can’t blame them for it.

Your ex doesn’t like you anymore, they despise you. Of course, they could be nicer and try to be more understanding. But you can’t expect every ex to hold you by the hand and help you find the way out. A few exes prefer tripping you and kicking you where it hurts. Hate them for it. But deal with it. And get over it. 

#4 Replay your relationship. While you sitting alone and staring at a wall or an empty glass of wine, replay the relationship in your head. Pick the mistakes and the flaws in the relationship, and try to see where things started falling apart.

But remember to pick the mistakes, not the pieces of the relationship. The love affair is over. What you need here is to try and figure out where you went wrong, and where your partner hurt you. Were you trying too hard to please, insecure, clingy, or were you just too busy with your own life? And about your ex, try to pick their flaws too, so you don’t fall for another person with the same flaws again.

#5 Don’t force yourself. For the first week or so, don’t bother trying to convince yourself that you’re over your ex. Just let life take its course. Do your best to get over your ex by keeping yourself occupied, but don’t force your mind to forget your ex. You may be successful in bottling the thoughts, but they’ll always come back now and then in surges that will hurt you more. 

#6 Stay miserable. Allow yourself to feel miserable and hurt. But time yourself and keep an eye on the calendar. Give yourself about three weeks to get over your ex. Mark the date on your calendar with a big red marker.

Think about your ex for those three weeks, but constantly remind yourself that at the end of these three weeks, you’ll wake up the next morning and completely overcome the sadness you’re feeling. Keeping a date marked on the calendar can psychologically prepare you to get over your ex. And at times, your wound may heal even before those three weeks!

#7 Fantasize the high road revenge. There are two types of fantasies you can think about after a break up, the I-wish-we-could-get-back fantasy, and the I’ll-get-even-with-you fantasy. Don’t try anything below the belt like spreading naked photos or cheap comebacks like that, it’s not fair and you’ll never forgive yourself for years if you even have the slightest semblance of a conscience.

Take the higher road. Convince yourself that you’ll put your focus and energy into other positive things, so that one fine day, many years from now, you’d do something spectacular with your life. And fantasize scenarios where you’d run into your ex. It’s not fair, but it helps for the moment. And odds are you may forget all about this a few years later. Don’t know what I mean? Go watch Cee Lo’s F*ck you on youtube. Fantasizing about success and exes makes the dreams of success so much sweeter!

#8 Laugh like a crazy person. For the first few weeks, don’t convince yourself you’re happier. Just wallow in your self pity and depression. But once you wake up one day and feel better, a few weeks later, laugh! Feel the happiness well within you. Realize how good you feel. It takes a while, but you’ll feel it when you’re ready. Listen to happy songs, watch funny movies, and laugh out loud. When you’re ready to move on from your sad state, your mind will be more than happy to help you have a nice time.

#9 Curiosity and the no contact rule. The no contact rule is really important. You can use all the other steps and follow it to the tee, but if you screw up here, you’ll be back on square one in no time. Have you ever looked for your ex’s facebook page sometime *just to see what they’re doing*?

The first time you take a peek at your ex’s page, you won’t think too much about it. But as time goes by, you’d end up visiting their page more and more often, until you realize you’re addicted to the idea of wanting to know more about you ex. There’s no escaping your ex once you get wrapped up in the curiosity of knowing more. Avoid it. Don’t stay in contact, and don’t go looking for information either.

#10 Get better and sexier. Have a life, go on out there and enjoy yourself. Sitting by yourself in the corner of the room will never make you feel better. Date others or at least meet a few interesting dating potentials that catch your fancy. Remember, you’ll have a very difficult time moving on if you find out that your ex is dating someone new, especially if you aren’t getting flirty with someone else already.

Work out and get fit. You’ll look better, and the endorphins released in your body will make you feel more upbeat and look sexier.

A heartbreak isn’t the end of the world. Sometimes, as hard as you try to prevent it, break ups are inevitable. What you do next and how you pull yourself together to deal with the break up makes all the difference between a person who experiences a break up, and a broken lover who gives up on a chance to have a happy life again.

Use these 10 steps on how to move on and deal with a break up. Following these steps may seem easy at first, but it isn’t as easy to follow as you think!

We’re trying hard to create better relationships in the world.
But we can’t do it without YOU!

Did this feature help you better yourself or your relationship?
You can change someone else’s life too!

How to Perfect the Silent Treatment in a Relationship

The silent treatment is bad for love. But if you’re too mad to talk to your lover, here’s the right way to use the silent treatment in your relationship. By Alison Ricard

When you’re upset with your partner, it’s never easy to choose the right words to express yourself.

Instead of explaining yourself, your mind would instinctively choose all the wrong words.

And almost all the time, these wrong words you use in an argument would be the most hurtful ones.

A relationship, as happy as it can be, can also have its painful moments.

But how you deal with those bad moments with your partner will determine the longevity and happiness in your relationship.

Sometimes, do you find it easier to just walk away from an argument, slam the door on your partner’s face and give them the silent treatment?

Of course, it is an easier alternative than having to endure all the yelling and the blinding rage you have to experience when you’re face to face with your lover slash enemy-for-the-moment.

But you do know that the silent treatment is never the answer to the problem, don’t you?

What is the silent treatment?

Anyone who’s ever been in love would have experienced this at some point in their relationship, where one partner walks away in the middle of an angry conversation and doesn’t answer back to any question or remark.

By a simple definition, the silent treatment is the refusal of one person to talk to another person, especially after they’ve had an argument.

The duration of the silent treatment varies from one relationship to another, and could even last for days, and at times… years!

Why is the silent treatment bad for relationships?

Giving the silent treatment to a partner may seem like the perfect thing to do, to hurt them and get away from them at the same time.

But no matter which way you look at it, it’s always terrible for the relationship.

#1 Fear in love. When you use the silent treatment on your partner because they hurt you by doing something, you’re not helping your relationship. You’re not letting your partner know what really hurt you. And most importantly, it would leave your partner feeling afraid and confused because they don’t really know what’s on your mind.

#2 More and more lies. The silent treatment may feel good, because you have the power to inflict pain on your lover. But your partner isn’t really going to understand what upset you. So instead of stopping the behavior that upset you *which they don’t know because you haven’t told them*, they’d start to lie about everything. And that’s all because they’re too afraid to say something that would offend you.

#3 Loss of trust. When you give a partner the silent treatment, they’d lie more to avoid angering you in any manner. But every now and then, you may sense a sneaky suspicion in the air or even catch your partner red handed *which would probably lead to more silent treatment*. And eventually, both of you would stop trusting each other. And why is that? Well, because there’s no communication in between all that silent treatment!

How to use the silent treatment the right way

At times, the silent treatment in a relationship isn’t all bad if you know to use it well.

After all, it’s not really easy to plaster a happy smile on your face and talk to your partner calmly when you’ve just caught them with their knickers in a twist around their ankles and their legs in between someone else’s.

Sometimes, the silent treatment is a perfect solution to angry arguments in love. But you need to know how to use it effectively.

The duration of the silent treatment

Most silent treatments stretch on for days, especially if one partner is waiting for the other partner to apologize. But what do you do if both partners think they’re the one who’s right?!

In a happy relationship, it doesn’t matter whose fault it is. Both of you have to shed your egos, and make the effort to make up to each other. Yes, even if it’s not your own fault in any way!

Use this basic duration guide to get a better idea on how long the silent treatment should last.

#1 When you’re together at home. Don’t let the silent treatment last for over an hour. Even if you’re seething on the inside, calm yourself and communicate with your partner.

#2 When you’re away from each other. If you’re at work or in a long distance relationship, don’t let the silent treatment stretch for over half a day.

#3 If you’re too mad and need to be by yourself. Be frank and tell your partner the truth. Let them know that you’re hurting or annoyed, and as much as you’d want to sit down and talk to your partner, you’re just not in the right state to talk about it. Tell your lover that you need some time to clear your mind because it’s just too much to take in right now. And as soon as you feel calmer, call your partner and talk about it.

Just don’t take days to calm down though, because that’s just stupid. It only means you’re trying to hurt your partner. And that’s not the point of using the silent treatment at all.

So why use the silent treatment if it’s bad?

If your partner just doesn’t understand your words, or if they keep repeating the same hurtful behavior all the time, it’s definitely time to give them a taste of your silent treatment.

After all, sometimes the only way to help your partner realize that they’ve done something hurtful is by hurting them just a bit, even if it’s only for a moment. It’s definitely wrong to stretch the silent treatment for more than a few hours, because that would convince your partner to become a liar in future. But by using it for the right duration, you’d let them know that you’re really upset.

You’d know the value of safe driving only when you have a near death experience on the road or a close shave with an accident. But you did know all about safe driving already, didn’t you? But you still needed a reminder.

Likewise, at times, you need a bad reminder to see a taste of what could happen if you hurt someone you love. And that’s what the silent treatment should do.

When the silent treatment goes wrong

Don’t use the silent treatment all the time. It should be a very rare occurrence if it has to hold any significance in your relationship.

If you constantly use the silent treatment once every few months, instead of looking at it as a regrettable incident, your partner’s regrettable sorrow would turn to rage for being treated this way. And instead of changing their behavior, your partner could actually end up repeating their behavior *even if they don’t tell you* just to get back at you!

Things you shouldn’t do while giving the silent treatment

Here are four things you need to know if you intend to use the silent treatment in your relationship at some point of time.

#1 Don’t ignore your lover. Don’t lock yourself in a room with no access to anyone. And if your partner knocks on the door, just tell them you need some time. Don’t ever ignore your lover completely when you’re giving the silent treatment.

#2 Don’t leave your partner in the dark. Tell them what you think is bothering you even if you need some time alone. It’ll help your partner contemplate over what they did wrong and how they can make up for it.

#3 Don’t walk away. Don’t walk away before hearing what your partner has to say. Listen to them, tell your partner you need to be alone and excuse yourself. If you cut your partner in the middle of their confession, you’re only going to build an emotional block between the both of you.

#4 Don’t attack your partner, verbally or physically. Don’t get violent or insult your partner before you hear them out. Don’t urge your partner to go on, and then yell at them because they’re going into the details. As much as it hurts, listen to their side completely.

How to end the silent treatment in a relationship

If your partner tries to make up with you after a while, or if you decide that you’re calm enough to make up with your partner, don’t just accept the apology and walk away.

Sit down together, and talk about how both of you feel about what happened. Ask your partner to explain themselves to you, even if they’ve done something terrible and has hurt you a lot. Get to the core of the issue, because somewhere deep inside, you’d see that a mistake in love is usually never one sided.

And once you hear your partner’s views, tell your partner about how you feel and mention everything you feel. It’ll help your partner understand you a lot better.

And at the end of it all, both of you should apologize to each other *even if you feel like have no fault in it*. Giving the silent treatment to them deserves an apology, don’t you think?

Learning from the silent treatment

When you give the silent treatment to your partner, it’ll give you the time to reflect on the situation and also give you the time to think of the right questions you need to ask, and the right things to say about how you feel.

Don’t ever stretch the silent treatment just to hurt your partner for what they did. The silent treatment should only be used to reflect on the incident, and should never be used to hurt someone you love.

After all, when you hurt your partner, you’re hurting one half of your relationship. And that means your relationship would be hurt and affected by it too. Is that what you really want, to rip your relationship from the inside?

There is no winning partner or losing partner in love. Both of you can only win together and lose together in love.

So instead of indulging in power struggles or petty fights to win an argument or prove a point to your lover, learn to use bad situations and silent treatments as learning lessons. It’ll bring both of you closer, and help understand each other better.

The next time you’re too furious to see past your blind rage, use the silent treatment if you must, but use these tips on doing it the right way. It’ll surely help your partner understand your mind, and bring more love and respect into the relationship with every argument.

We’re trying hard to create better relationships in the world.
But we can’t do it without YOU!

Did this feature help you better yourself or your relationship?
You can change someone else’s life too!

7 Secret Signs that Reveal a Bad Relationship

Are you really in a happy relationship that’s heading towards a happily ever after? Read these 7 secret signs of a bad relationship to know the truth. By Chester Bloom

Relationships can, at times, be far more complicated than it seems on the surface.

You could see a cute couple who are happy together and assume they’re going to be hitched for life.

And before you know it, the happy couple could break up and go their own ways?

Still water always runs deep.

What seems perfectly stable on the outside may not be so on the inside.

Sometimes, you may think you’re in a perfectly happy relationship when in truth, you may be heading towards a turbulent future with your lover.

Secret signs of a bad relationship

When you’re floating on the high of a happy relationship, it’s easy to overlook all the little nagging issues that crop up now and then.

But before long, it’s the little things that’ll create bigger problems as they snowball over time.

Don’t let infatuation and intense affection for each other blind either of you from building a successful relationship on constructive grounds.

Keep an eye out for the hints of a bad relationship that show up now and then, and fix them before it gets worse.

The 7 secret signs that reveal a bad romance in progress

Constant arguments, affairs or unhappiness may be the big signs of a bad relationship. But these big signs don’t just crop up out of nowhere. And it’s the secret signs, those subtle hints that can even seem funny at first, that make way for the bigger problems to seep in.

Read these subtle signs of a bad relationship, and if you do experience something in your own relationship, weed them out before it affects your relationship further.

#1 Eye rolling. Do you take your partner or their suggestions seriously? You may find yourself dumbly smiling at your lover or ignoring your partner when they’re trying to say something to you. And your partner may even laugh about it.

But the fact that you didn’t listen to your partner or assumed that you were superior to your partner in that aspect shows that you don’t take your partner seriously. To begin with, it may just be a one off incident. But if you find yourself rolling your eyes each time you hear something from the next room or repeating ‘whatever’ inside your head, ask yourself why you’re taking your partner so lightly?

#2 Dominance. Dominance and power play in a relationship can be confusing to read, especially if you’re being subtle about it. Do you feel like one of you has more power in the relationship? A happy relationship has to have an equal balance of power between the two lovers. If you feel like you’re being dominated or not given enough control of the relationship and its direction, speak about it with your partner.

#3 Loss of respect. Respect for each other is crucial in a relationship. If you don’t respect your lover, your lover would start to shy away from giving suggestions or even playing a part in the functioning of the relationship. And almost all the time, your partner will end up getting attracted to someone else who respects them and likes them for the person they are.

#4 Speaking ill of each other. Don’t insult each other just to get even or win an argument. And this is especially important when others are around. Don’t ridicule your partner, and definitely avoid saying anything demeaning to your partner when others are around. No matter how you say it, it’ll always be taken badly by your partner.

On the other hand, some people love talking about their partner’s inefficiencies to their friends, as if to expect solace and comfort. But by speaking ill of your partner to others, you’re only reassuring yourself that your partner is not good enough for you. How can a relationship last when all you’re trying to do is convince yourself that your lover is not good enough for you?

#5 Avoiding conflict and avoiding resolutions. Sometimes, it’s easier to overlook a few differences rather than pick a fight over it. But if something bothers you, don’t avoid talking about it with your partner.

If you find yourself grumbling to yourself about something, be it the dirty sink or the clothes lying around, but you still avoid talking about it to your partner, it’ll do more damage than good. The rage that accumulates inside you would start to distance you from your partner, and yet, your partner would have no idea about what’s bothering you.

#6 Taking each other for granted. This is one of the most common signs of a bad relationship. All of us take our partners for granted. But there’s a thin line between feeling good about helping someone and feeling like an overworked mule. It’s very easy to unknowingly take your partner for granted. Learn to put yourself in your partner’s shoes and ask yourself how you’d feel. It’ll help you realize when you’re being overbearing and annoying.

#7 Silence. Talk is cheap and silence is golden. True, almost in all cases, but not in a relationship. When you’re in love, communication helps open up both your minds and creates a better bond. Do both of you spend your evenings watching your favorite telly shows after work, and hardly talk about anything with each other? It may seem like a perfect way to relax after a tiring and long day.

But over times, this lack of communication will disconnect both of you from each other. And soon enough, both of you won’t have anything to share with each other because your minds and ideas are so far apart.

If you’re looking for signs of a bad relationship, focus on these 7 signs to begin with. After all, even the biggest of relationship problems have to start with these little secret signs.

We’re trying hard to create better relationships in the world.
But we can’t do it without YOU!

Did this feature help you better yourself or your relationship?
You can change someone else’s life too!

Can Long Distance Love Survive the Distance?

You may have to come face to face with the prospect of long distance love at some point in your relationship. Can a long distance love survive the distance or is it easier to call it quits?

If you ever have to take a decision on long distance love, are you willing to give it a chance?

Managing a long distance romance isn’t easy at all. And as much as you may want to hold on, sometimes it’s easier and less painful to let go.

If you and your lover have to stay separated for just a few months or even a year, it may be easy to hold on.

But if your lover has to relocate to a new state for an unknown period and there’s no way you can move too, well, you do have a few things to consider before making up your mind.

Things to know about long distance love

Long distance love can seem cute in the movies, and while a few lovers may find it easier to handle the distance, many fail miserably and end up hating each other.

So unless you’re really ready for some difficult and faraway loving and willing to give your relationship the test of time, put the relationship on hold and move on, at least until both of you can meet again.

Here are a few things you need to keep in mind while deciding on long distance love.

Are you ready for it? You’ll have your answer in a few minutes.

Relationships need a lot of effort

Most lovers take love and relationships for granted. But in reality, relationships do need commitment and a bit of work. Most of the time, chemistry in love and understanding makes things in love seem easier and happier.

But if you’re not having a great relationship that’s overflowing with love already, you may have to reconsider your decision on long distance love.

When you’re away from each other, it’s easier to have misunderstandings over the simplest of things like a phone call, scheduled visits or even a rumor. And the worst part is that either of you can’t do much to ease the tension because both of you are so far away. Take a chance on long distance love only if both of you are compatible, understanding and have the will to take this big a step.

Can you handle the freedom and the loneliness?

This is a big one in long distance love. When both of you live within the same area code, it’s easy to be with each other all the time. You get to watch new movies together, go out for dinners and party as a couple all night long.

And when one of you have to move away, either of you are going to have a difficult time idling time away on weekends. Even a few minutes in bored loneliness can feel like a lifetime. You can spend time with your friends, but it’s just not the same as being with someone you can flirt with or cuddle with.

While the new freedom of partial singledom can be exciting, especially when you have a lot of time to spend with new friends and meet new people, the loneliness can lead you to look for easy ways to bring back the excitement into your single life.

Can you trust your partner?

Learning to trust each other in a relationship is crucial in keeping long distance love alive. But do you really trust your attractive and outgoing partner? You know how easy is it to have a great time with someone else when you’re out with a ‘new friend’. Could your partner be up to something? Or could your partner lose interest in the relationship when they’re having so much fun hanging out with new friends?

The bottom line here is to ask yourself if you can completely trust your partner. If either of you can’t trust each other, perhaps long distance love isn’t for you.

It’s easy to get frustrated

Remember how easy it is to get upset with each other even during regular days? Long distance between each other can make it even worse.

First of all, there’s the fear and insecurity. Secondly, even the smallest of things like not answering the phone, going out more often or partying with new friends can lead to frustrations and confusion.

And the biggest bummer in long distance love, attractive new friends. It’s extremely easy for one partner to get jealous or angry when the other partner gets friendly with a few new attractive people. When new, mysterious friends start posting regular comments on facebook or start interrupting phone calls, it’s all the more reason to lose your cool.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder

Akon’s song ‘Lonely’ sucks, but it’s going to suck a lot more when you’re all alone and listening to it, knowing that your partner’s gone away for a long time.

The absence of your lover can make both of you miss each other a lot more, and even help both of you realize how much love means to both of you. As long as both of you take the effort to keep love alive, it’ll lead to a stronger and more fulfilled relationship when both of you get together again. Long distance love can actually be the biggest relationship test that can help both of you understand how much either of you mean to each other.

Absence makes you hornier too

When you’re in a perfectly happy relationship with an attractive person, it’s easy to feel sexually exhilarated. You have great sex, add in a bit of cuddles and kisses, and life’s just perfect.

But when you’re experiencing long distance love, you’re all alone and you’re obviously going to feel the loneliness in your loins pretty soon. It’s just inevitable. Can you put those lusty thoughts aside and wait until you hold your partner in your hands again?

It’s so easy to cheat and not get caught

Your partner isn’t around anymore. Your friends have their own lives going on. No one really cares what you’re up to late at night. Have you met someone who’s attracted to you or is charmed by you? What are you going to do about it?

When you’re experiencing a long distance romance, it’s really easy for either partner to cheat and get away with it without even leaving a trace behind. Do you trust your partner and yourself to avoid that temptation? The fact that either of you will never get caught makes it so much easier. But you have to learn to leave temptations behind and walk away.

One stolen kiss will lead to another and eventually, it’ll just create a serial cheater out of you or your partner. If either of you think you can’t handle long distance love for lusty reasons, end it instead of cheating a partner and losing your conscience.

You may grow apart

As humans, all of us grow and change into better and newer individuals all the time. When you’re living together or even just dating, you may not notice these differences because both of you learn to evolve together. But when you’re in a long distance relationship, it’s easier to grow apart because both of you are pursuing your own dreams and leading your own lives.

Love needs communication to grow. Unless both of you put in the effort to communicate each other’s feelings and talk about goals and aspirations, you’d start to see that both of you are moving away in different directions. And at times, both of you may end up becoming incompatible partners even if both of you were deeply in love with each other.

Long distance love may be a great test to measure the strength in the relationship, but it’s riddled with temptations, jealousy and frustrations that can create havoc in even the perfect of relationships.

Still think long distance love is worth the effort? Well, it’s about time you make up your mind.

So are you ready for a bit of long distance love? If you’re willing to take a chance on true love and want to try and survive a long distance romance, read how to make a long distance relationship work to solve your problems.

We’re trying hard to create better relationships in the world.
But we can’t do it without YOU!

Did this feature help you better yourself or your relationship?
You can change someone else’s life too!

13 Charming Ways to be More Approachable to Guys

Wondering why you aren’t getting hit on as much as you’d like? Use these tips and tricks to appear approachable to men without coming off as too easy! By Keith Brown

Contrary to what you may think, getting hit on or appearing approachable to men isn’t really a game of chance where you just have to wait it out.

And contrary to what most women think, you don’t have to do something outrageous or provocative to get a guy to walk up to you and say hello!

The truth is, if you understand a guy’s mind and what goes on in it before he approaches a girl, you could make any guy want to strike up a conversation with you within five minutes of stepping into a place!

How to be more approachable to guys without appearing easy

Do you ever feel like you could do with more attention from the guys around you, especially when you walk into a new place or a regular hangout and see a cute guy who’s definitely worth a shot?

Here are a few things you need to keep in mind if you want to win the edge over all other girls in the room, and catch a guy’s eye.

#1 Look good! As shallow as this may sound, this is as simple as it can get. To a guy, approaching a girl is all about first appearances. When a guy walks into a room, it takes him less than a few glances to make up his mind on whether he wants to approach a girl or not.

If you dress up well and look good, it just makes everything all the more easier for you!

#2 Don’t appear occupied. Don’t be too engrossed with your phone or a book, or something else. You may be bored and trying to keep yourself busy, but chances are, doing that will make the guy who wants to approach you back away because you appear too busy to be interested in a conversation with him.

Are you out of his league?

Now this goes against the first tip on looking good, but there’s also a drawback of looking too good for the guy! If you’re a stunner who looks gorgeous, all the guys around you may drool at you or try to sneak glances at you all the time, but most guys would feel too intimidated to approach you.

If there’s one thing guys fear more than anything else while approaching women, it’s the fear of rejection or worse, humiliation! Most guys may just assume you’re way above their league and they’re not worthy of your attention. Simply put, if you look very attractive, you’ll scare most guys away!

But then again, on the other hand, the only guys who feel confident enough to approach you would be the guys who think they’re worthy of you *the alpha males, the achievers, and of course, the players!*.

If you really want to catch the eye of a shy guy who seems nice but is too scared to approach you, try being friendly and warm to the people around you. It always helps!

13 tips to be more approachable to men

So you want to catch a guy’s eye and make him walk up to you? Just use these 13 easy tips, and you’ll see that getting a guy to approach you and start a conversation with you can be one of the easiest things to do.

#1 The way you dress. Don’t dress up like you have nothing to hide. You’ll get everyone’s attention alright, but the only guys who would approach you are the ones who are looking for a quick one night stand. Of course, dressing provocatively would definitely help catch a nice guy’s eye, but only if your look is sensual and not blatantly sexual.

Remember, you don’t have to flaunt everything you have to catch a guy’s eye. If you’re interesting and look pretty, you’ll catch his eye nevertheless.

#2 Eye contact. Glance at him now and then, and make eye contact occasionally. But at the same time, don’t get too carried away and try to catch his eye all the time. He may just think you’re too easy and not care.

#3 The quick and slow look away. There are two ways to look at a guy and let him know you’re interested. And you can use them both depending on what feels comfortable for you.

The slow glance. When you’re glancing across the room, look towards him casually and make eye contact with him for a few seconds with a small smile. And then, slowly turn your head away and look towards something else. This is a more confident and bolder way of letting the guy know you’re interested.

The quick glance. And for the quick and coy approach, you could look towards him suddenly when he’s staring towards you, catch his eye, and immediately look at a friend or look down in an obvious manner. Smiling to yourself at that moment will only make you appear more cuter and sweeter in his eyes!

#4 Make it easy for him. It’s intimidating for a guy to approach a girl when she’s with a big group of friends. If your idea is to meet guys or get approached by them, try to spend time alone or probably with another girl friend.

#5 The right kind of places. Not all places create the perfect scenario for casual conversations. If you want a guy to approach you, pick a place that’s perfect for casual conversations where everyone in the room won’t turn their heads around to see what’s happening. Coffee shops, clubs, or book stores are perfect places with limitless opportunities for a guy to start a conversation with you.

#5 Give him opportunities to talk to you. Even if you’re in a group and you see a guy you like, make eye contact with him a few times. And when you feel like he’s ready to talk to you, walk away for a few minutes to look around or to order a drink at the bar by yourself.

#6 Smile. Appear warm and friendly, and your chances of getting approached by guys would rise multifold. Being likeable at first sight can be a huge advantage to any girl who wants to catch a guy’s eye!

#7 Don’t be bored. Have fun and be positive no matter where you are. Positivity draws positivity. And a happy girl draws happy guys who love their life. If you’re grumpy or appear stiff or bored, even a guy who really likes you may think twice about approaching you because you may seem boring and dull.

#8 Don’t be rude. If you’re rude to anyone, be it a waiter or one of your friends, odds are, the guy who wants to approach you would back away immediately. No one likes rude people, and no guy would want to strike a conversation with a girl who may snap at him or insult him for approaching her!

#9 Don’t hang out with guys! This is a big one that’s something you always need to remember. Don’t ever hang out with guy friends if you want to get approached by a guy. It’s just not going to happen!

#10 Show him you’re interested. Let him know that you’re interested in getting to know him better. Even if you’re talking to your friend and he’s sitting at the next table, look towards him when he looks at you even as you answer your friend.

#11 Show off your coy and girly side. Look at him now and then, and when you catch his eye, tuck your hair behind your ear, look down and smile to yourself. It may seem like a small gesture to you, but to a guy, it’s jackpot!

#12 Tease him. Walk past him and make eye contact just as you walk past him. Tease him, and he’ll love the subtle attention!

#13 Don’t push it. You’re just embarrassing yourself if you push it too far. Guys aren’t dumb, and if you glance at him a few times or smile in his direction, he knows already that you’re ready to be approached.

Some guys just don’t have the courage to make a move, while there may be a few guys who probably aren’t interested in approaching you whatever their reasons may be *married, dating, gay, coward?*

So don’t throw yourself on the floor or flail your arms wildly to let him know you’re interested. Give him a few glances, a few smiles and use these tips to give him the opportunity to approach you. But if he doesn’t approach you in a while, chances are, he’s not going to approach you anytime soon whatever his reason may be.

Use these 13 tips and tricks on how to be more approachable to guys, and you’ll definitely be able to work your magic effortlessly, without coming across as a girl who’s too easy!

We’re trying hard to create better relationships in the world.
But we can’t do it without YOU!

Did this feature help you better yourself or your relationship?
You can change someone else’s life too!